“Do No Harm.” -John Wesley

By Melissa Jacks Dowdy

Considering the fact that disaffiliation from the United Methodist Church under Paragraph 2553 was offered as an exit path for those churches in opposition to gay marriage and gay clergy, it is important to consider the harmful effects of this messaging on LGBTQ+ persons. We need to recognize that inclusion is important, but there’s also a difference between “allowing” and “affirming.” 

Will the MCC really be a safe and inclusive place for an LGBTQ+ person? Will Bethany? In order to follow the directive of John Wesley, the father of Methodism, to “Do no harm,” we must remain in the UMC. This is the only option that shows a path forward toward lessening harm, while not requiring our fellow congregants who believe differently about human sexuality to change their beliefs. 

By the Numbers: What’s the Risk?

According to a recent Gallup poll, 7% of the general population and 21% of Gen Z (aged 20-26), identify as LGBTQ+. According to the Trevor Project,  41% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. Studies show that LGBTQ+ young people are not “inherently prone to suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity but rather placed at a higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society.” These youth are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers. 

Effect of Religion on Youth Suicide

Religion, by providing a supportive community and instilling hope, can reduce suicide attempts; however, when religion is used by parents or church leaders to say negative things about being LGBTQ+, their risk for suicide almost doubles. LGBTQ+ youth of religiously-conservative parents are much less willing to come out to their parents and will likely feel shame and a loss of hope, understanding that they cannot change that part of their identity. 

Welcoming? 

What does it mean to be truly “welcoming”? Many churches use this slogan to suggest that their space allows all people to enter and worship, to be baptized, or to attend or teach Sunday school classes. An LGBTQ+ person might be “allowed” to participate in the life of the church, EXCEPT if they desire to marry another of the same gender or if they desire to enter into ministry. If they were to ask why there is an exception, they would be told, in some congregations, that “marriage is between one man and one woman,” or that “homosexuality is a sin,” or that “homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” 

It is a quick leap for a young person, questioning or newly-discovering their sexuality, to internalize that something must be wrong with them, that they must be a particularly bad “sinner,” given their realized identity. They begin to feel a sense of despair, of hopelessness: they can’t change who they are, but the church or their parents may be implying to them that they should do so. They may not discuss their identity with their parents or they may try to hide their identity, while the shame and hopelessness play on repeat in their heads.  

Affirming: Our Hope for the Future

An “affirming” church, on the other hand, is one with the message that all are welcome to fully participate in every aspect of church life. There are no exceptions. All are made in God’s image and love for one another is the salient point. All people have sacred worth, and no one is made to feel that they have less value because of who they might love. 

Is Bethany an “affirming” church? Not yet. Remaining in the UMC would be a step in that direction as the doctrines limiting LGBTQ+ participation change, but we as a congregation will also have work to do to learn how to express our beliefs about human sexuality without harming LGBTQ+ persons.